His Sign
by JustLetMePerfectIt
Summary: Hey Newbie, sorry Carla couldn't come, but I wanted to speak to you alone.." One-shot Au to my Au, "My Comatose Dreams" Warning Slash of the JD/Cox kind


**Hey, sorry I have been a bit lazy with posting lately, but a lot has been going on. Well this one-shot came to me during a shower yesterday, and since I haven't posted any follow up to "My Comatose Dreams".. I thought "Why not?"**

**This is ironically an Au to a Au, it follows the same basic story line, but it is pretty different (and also the fact it is not multi-chaptered shows some things)**

**If you don't like Slash... I would suggest that you press that arrow on the top left of your screen.**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Scrubs. (Wow.. that hurt to say :( )**

**Warning! Very depressing.**

**Enjoy it if you can though ;)**

**His Sign**

This always happened to Dr Perry Cox.

He always got close to someone and then they left him.

Although he could honestly say this was the shortest relationship he had ever had.

But this one hurt more than the others, because he knew JD was never coming back, no matter how much he wanted him to.

He went to visit JD everyday, he talked to him, gave him flowers, but he never got a response,he didn't expect one. What he had done was unforgivable.

Now a days, Newbie was the only thing on his mind, the only person he thought about 24/7. He didn't have his job to keeping him occupied anymore. He hadn't been fired, he was only on emotional leave. The thing was, he didn't even have many people to keep him occupied anymore either. You see, When it first happened, no one blamed him, not even Turk, but when the end came all fingers were pointed at him. A part from Carla's, she was the only one not blinded by anger and hurt, she was the only one who didn't blame him. She sat with Perry sometimes as he talked to JD, she even went with him to get flowers.

It was ironic really, that when he had finally won over JD after years of dancing round each other and flirting that he lost him straight away. That kiss would of been amazing if it had been completed...

Perry sighed and walked out the door, he was going to go visit JD, he couldn't live like this anymore. He needed a sign that he was forgiven,a slap, a wake up call.. anything.

As per usual, on the way he bought ten white roses with one red in the middle. He grinned, only JD could turn him into everything he hated. A cliche pansy.

As he walked the rain hit him like small bullets.

He placed the flowers down beside where JD lay and sighed as he sat down.

"Hey Newbie..."

"Sorry Carla couldn't come with me today, but I wanted to speak to you alone."

"Listen, I'm so sorry. I didn' think this would ever happen. I thought that once I had..let on that I liked you that we would..."

What did he think would happen? He had always imagine the amazing sex that would follow, but he never stopped to think about where he and JD would be in the future. But now that he thought about it, bittersweet images popped through his mind.

-_Perry sitting on the couch watching a movie and running his hand through JD's hair as JD falls asleep against him_.-

-_Perry smirking as JD tries to stop giggling at something that Perry has said but lends up just laughing_ _louder_.-

-_JD is kissing Perry and slowly dragging him towards the bedroom while winking.-_

_-Perry is holding a naked, flushed but smiling JD against his chest lying down the bed and is smiling tenderly down at him.-_

Perry hadn't cried properly since this had happened. He had came close, but he wanted to stay strong and how would crying help anyway?

But the images that just crept into his head brought tears to his eyes, and he only just managed to keep in control... he had no right to cry.

For the first time in weeks he allowed his mind to wander back to the day his life was twisted.

------------------------------------

"Come on Newbie it has been a week... the hospital needs you, your black wife needs you, your friends need you ...I need you!"

Perry looked down at JDs frail form on the bed. It was all his fall. If only he hadn't leaned into kiss Newbie.. he might of been awake, happy and in Perry's arms. The car accident wouldn't of happened if he hadn't got so caught up in the moment and waited a few minutes before leaning in to kiss JD. It was stupid, he should of known to keep his eyes on the road.

"WAKE UP!"

The bed shock as Perry kicked the side of it childishly. A few moments later he looked up as he heard Turk walk in. The surgeon nodded politely at Dr Cox and wen to sit down beside JD's other side.

"Come on man, please wake up Vanilla Bear..."

Perry looked over at Turk and saw that this was obviously taking its toll on him. He looked like death warmed over.

The two sat in silence looking down at JD.... until a shrill beep filled the air.

"Shit! Gandhi, He's Coding!"

Other doctors filled the room and shoved both Turk and Perry out the way. Perry didn't mind, almost as soon as he had heard the alarm indicating that JD was going into cardiac arrest, his body went numb. He knew he would be no help.

Jonathan Micheal Dorian died at 4:02am that night.

The next few days were a blur for Perry, everyone blamed him and where ever he went glares were sure to follow.

But at the funeral, there were no glares, because everyone could see the pain the man was going through. (and Carla had threatened to kill anyone who made that day worse for him.)

Nobodys eyes were dry at the funeral, they had lost their ray of sunshine, their happy go lucky guy.

But Perry, didn't shed a tear, his eyes watered until they stung, but he didn't cry. JD deserved more than his tears.

---------------

Things hadn't gotten any easier since then. The guilt was tearing him apart, inside he knew that it wasn't really his fault, but that didn't help.

"I need you Newbie, and I'm sorry."

"I loved you.. still do, god I sound so girly, but you always did that to me, you always brought out my girly side, even if didn't show it openly."

"I just need a sign... anything Newbie...I'm losing it."

As if by magic, the rain stopped and the sun burst from behind grey clouds.

Perry gave a small smile and finally allowed the tears that were desperately trying to burst from his eyes to fall and make thier way slowly down his cheek. He was forgiven.

"Thanks JD."

He smiled and looked up at his sign, his sunshine, his newbie.

**Hey, hope that kinda makes up for my lack of posting, if you enjoyed please leave me a little message, it would be really appreciated. (ooh Did you notice most of the flash back dialouge was from chapter 2 of MCD :P) I will update My Bloody Problem ASAP.**


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